Tic Tac Toe
by account-isn't in-use
Summary: Injuries heal over time. Scars don't ever fade.


**I'd say this' the first good FF i've ever written. Hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

Tic tac toe had started out as an innocent game. Lily loved it. She would always find someone to play it with. Her cousins and siblings soon got tired of it, and groaned everytime she asked. But Teddy always played with her, no matter what. She liked him the most, out of all the Weasleys and Potters. He was as close to her as a brother.

(Maybe, _maybe_ something more, but it didn't really matter to either of them. Just as long as they were together.)

* * *

><p>"Tic tac toe, Teddy?" Lily smiled up at him.<p>

Teddy shifted, looking a little uncomfortable. His eyes darted from her to outside her window, then to his shoes.

"I - I'm sorry, Lily."

You always used to play with me," A mixture of hurt and confusion was evident in her voice. "Is it getting too boring for you? We could play something else, I suppose -"

"It's not tic tac toe, Lily. It's Victoire. I... I'm going to marry her. I can't play with you all the time.

Lily twirled a lock of her scarlet red hair. "Oh. It's okay..." She looked away. She just couldn't let him see the tears threatening to leak out from her eyes.

And then he left. Just like that. She would've thought he knew her better. She thought he'd have known she wasn't really fine.

* * *

><p>It was so, so cold.<p>

She was bound to the wall by invisible ropes, shivering and whimpering. Screaming was no use, nobody would hear her. No one could save her.

A high-pitched cackle reached her ears. The wizard in front of her held his wand to his victim's neck, looking at her almost as though wondering what he should do to her.

Her fringe stuck on the side of her forehead, her tears mingling with the sweat. _Let me live, let me live_, she thought desperately, her heart pounding in her chest.

"CRUCIO!"

She screamed. It felt like she was being stabbed with a thousand knives, getting splashed by acid, taking a hundred fierce bludgers, all at once. She felt worse than dead, yet very much alive and experiencing it all.

It seemed stupid that seconds ago she was thinking of getting out alive, when now she just wanted to die.

The excruciating pain stopped abruptly, but she was still shaking and sobbing silently. She just felt so _weak_. Defenseless. Helpless.

"Like it, Potter? Want some more?"

Her head was still hung down, her arms at her sides. She didn't respond in anyway.

"Tsk tsk, hasn't your famous father taught you any manners? How rude. How about something else? Legilimens!"

She felt him entering her mind, exploring every corner. To her, it was like a replay of her life, watching herself with all the Potters and Weasleys, watching herself playing tic tac toe with Teddy. And worse still, watching Teddy say I do, watching him kiss Victoire...

"Lily Luna Potter, daughter of Harry Potter," he whispered with relish. "I now know your darkest secrets... Stressful, isn't it? Not being able to live up to high expectations... Not being able to be with the love of your life..."

"You like tic tac toe, don't you, Potter? Shall we play it?"

He raised his wand to her cheek. Green light burst from it onto her cheek, slashing her face, an ugly line. Another painful slash. She was too weak to even scream. All the energy had been drained out of her. She couldn't put up a fight.

Slash. Horizontal. Horizontal. Vertical. Vertical.

He was really serious about playing tic tac toe.

Diagonal left. Diagonal Right. Circular.

Each slash sent a jolt through her even though she thought the pain couldn't get any worse.

One more long slash, and white-hot pain seared through her right cheek.

He had won.

* * *

><p>Teddy had found her in the corner of a cave, curled up into a ball, screaming, "KILL ME! STOP THE PAIN! STOP..." Her eyes had a far-away, traumatized look, fearful and scared. Her shirt and skirt were torn in several places, with scars everywhere. A long line of red marked both sides of her wrists.<p>

Antonin Dolohov, the escaped Death Eater, was lying dead on the ground before him, after he had _avada kedavra_'d him.

* * *

><p>She had awoken in a room with unfamiliar surroundings. White walls. A bed she had no recollection of. The only thing she recognized were the Potters and Weasleys, with tear-stained faces. Upon seeing her regain consciousness, they crowded around her, asking her questions something along the lines of<em> are you okay?<em> She was still heavily traumatized, her brain fuzzy and unable to process much information.

"I'm okay..." But all of a sudden she wasn't. Her cheek started tingling with a mild pain again. She reached up a hand to touch it. "Tic tac toe?" she whispered. "Hasn't my cheek healed?"

Teddy sucked in a deep breath, and she suddenly remembered he was a Healer. Had he been in charge of healing her?

"It shouldn't hurt anymore, Lily, it's been healed... but the scars... We've tried our best."

_We've tried our best_. What those muggle doctors said when they couldn't heal their patients properly. How could it happen in the wizarding world? Healers could use _magic_.

"It won't fade...?"

There was a long silence. Then, "I'm sorry, Lily."

She couldn't blame him for it. It wasn't his fault. She had no one to blame for it.

* * *

><p>She awoke again, screaming. The nightmare haunted her many days after that incident. Then green light. The pain. So vivid. So real. She wrapped her arms around her knees, burying her head in her blanket.<p>

She expected her mother to come bursting in again, wrapping her arms around her and holding a hand to her forehead to make sure she was okay. Or maybe her father, who would come prepared with a sleeping potion.

So it came to her as a surprise when the person who walked in her bedroom door had turquoise hair and orange eyes.

"Lily! Are you okay?"

She looked up at him, tears in her eyes. "I'm scared. I'm so, so scared. Stay with me. I can't go back to sleep..."

He sits down on her bed beside her and hugs her tightly, as if he'll never get a chance to do so anymore. Pressing his head into her hair, he whispers, "I won't leave."

"Teddy?"

"Yes?"

"Do you... Are my scars ugly?"

"They're not. And I won't dislike you for that. Anyone who thinks it's ugly and avoids for you because of it fail to see how amazing you really are. I mean it."

He sounds serious, and she's comforted. As she drifts off to sleep that night, the nightmares don't reappear.

* * *

><p>Harry talked to the Headmaster of Hogwarts to suspend Lily from school until she's ready to go back. Just in case.<p>

She spends most of her time outdoors, with Teddy. It's good for her health, mentally, as her father puts it. In the warm sun, she's much happier and she's starting to forget her past. She's getting over it, and her parents begged Teddy to stay for just awhile more, just in case she lapses back into depression once he's gone.

She really likes him. It's just the aura he carries around him makes her bubble up with happiness, and she can't feel sad when he's around. She feels comfort when he takes her hand, like the sunshine warming her up. She's at peace when he's around.

"You won't leave, will you, Teddy?"

"Of course not."

Victoire is started to get annoyed, though, and Teddy has no choice. He hates himself for what he's doing to her, but he's a married man and he can't stay by her side forever.

* * *

><p>"Where's Teddy?"<p>

Harry looked at Lily from behind _The Daily Prophet_. His eyes told her he was nervous.

"He's with Victoire."

"Oh." Disappointment, just a little, pricked Lily's heart. "When'll he be back?"

"Very soon. It's only a short while, he'll be back before you know it -"

"_How long?_"

"A - A year."

A year? An entire year?

"He promised me he'd stay."

"He's married, Lily, you can't expect him to hang around all day. He has a life of his own. He's with Victoire overseas now."

She didn't respond.

"Don't get upset, Lily. You'll be going back to Hogwarts to see all your friends again."

"What? When?"

"Next week."

"I don't want to go."

"You must, Lily. You can't coop up alone at home."

* * *

><p>James knocked on the door.<p>

"Lily?" he asked tentatively.

"Come in."

With her back facing the door, he was unable to see what she was doing, but she looked like she was writing something. She seemed to have gotten over Teddy, though she often kept herself shut in her room, alone. Her voice didn't sound muffled or cracked like when she was about to cry.

"What're you doing, Lils?"

"Playing. Tic tac toe. It's fun."

Taking the fact that she didn't ask him to join in as a sign that she wanted to be left alone, he shut the door. He knew better than to invade her privacy.

When he returned to his room, he took out a piece of parchment, his quill and ink.

_Dear Teddy,_

_Yeah, she's alright. Shut in her room playing tic tac toe. I really wonder when she'll get sick of it. I think she misses you, though, do come back to see her one day._

_Love,_

_James._

* * *

><p>"No. I won't allow you to."<p>

"Be reasonable, Victoire. I'm just going back to see her."

"Why? James already told you she's okay."

"You don't play tic tac toe on your own alone."

"Oh please, this girl's always loved it since she was young. You're being overly protective even for a brother, which you're not."

"I've known her since she was a baby! She's like my sister!"

"And more. Tell me, Teddy Lupin, you love her, don't you?"

"No."

"You do."

"No..."

"Oh, you're an utterly fucked up person, Teddy. Go to her and never come back."

* * *

><p>It was silent. In the middle of the night. He didn't understand why he had to creep into her room so sneakily, but something was seriously wrong with her. It was just a gut feeling.<p>

The door opened noiselessly. She wasn't in her bed. His heart stopped for a moment. He didn't bother remaining quiet anymore. He ran, scanning her room. There was no one.

He looked over at her bathroom door. It wasn't locked. He felt slightly giddy as he opened it.

Lily was crouched over the sink, her messy red hair covering her face. She didn't look up, although he was certain she'd heard him.

"Lily," he breathed, relieved.

No response.

"Lily? Lily?" Panic took over.

He walked over to her. The sink was stained red. Held firmly in her right hand was a penknife. On her left hand was -

"Tic tac toe," she whispered, finally looking up at him. Her hollow eyes completed the crazy-girl-slipped-into-depression effect. "Wanna play, Teddy?"

* * *

><p>She was sent to St. Mungo's. Again. With another tic tac toe sign.<p>

Teddy shook his head. "I'm so sorry, Harry -"

"Sorry doesn't come _near_ to covering it."

"I'll stay."

"Haven't you caused enough harm?"

Teddy looked as though he'd been slapped. For the first time since Lily had been sent to St. Mungo's, Harry looked him in the eye. And realized something.

"You love her, don't you?"

Teddy nodded.

Harry took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

"One more time this happens and I'll kill you, Teddy Lupin."

* * *

><p>The next time she woke up, only Teddy was by her side.<p>

"You okay?"

"I'm fine."

"_Really_ fine?"

"Yes..."

"I hated myself for it, Lily. I still do."

"I'm the stupid one. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Or worry about. Now, go back to Victoire."

"I won't."

"Stop saying you'll stay by my side and end up breaking your promise."

"Don't worry. This time I really will stay by your side, otherwise your father will be after me."

She smiled, for the first time since he left.

"Really?"

"Really."

"I love you, Teddy."

"So do I."

**Review, if you like the story.**


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